The Psychology Articles

Parents have an obligation to meet the needs of children, such as food, clothing, shelter, and affection. However, parents are not always present as a provider of children's needs. Therefore the main purpose of raising children is actually set it up to the later adult life as an individual. Little by little the child has a maturing process so as not to depend on parents. Train the child's independence needs to be done early, certainly in ways that fit their age and development of children.

Independent children are children who are given the opportunity to accept and be himself. Parents who treat children according to their respective peculiarities is that parents who learn to be positive face many differences in character, intelligence, or appearance of the child. Do not give an unfair comparison between the children. Teach your children to believe that he is "special" in their respective peculiarities. In this exercise through every event in his life is a preparation for building children's self-image. Healthy comparison in the middle of the competition with your friends and other family members will help the child find himself. The future of children will grow with the formation of personality in addition to any provision of science facilities. Spiritual direction becomes very important in equipping children to be able to actualize their independence.

Here are 8 steps given Niken, so that children could loosen the attachment to the father-mother.

1. Grow TASTE SECURE COMFORTABLE

Too sticky with parents is actually an expression of insecurity. Pain is generally appear when the child outside the home. At that moment he felt should be separated from his family, especially my father and mother.

In order for children to feel safe, parents need to give a simple explanation that is easy to understand, for example, "Om is good, really. He is also clever singing and making funny toys. So, baseball needs to fear you." In addition to safe, raise the same sense of comfort. "Why be afraid? Kan, Mama is here, in addition to Brother," for example. Do not forget, smile to him to grow up feeling comfortable.

Security and comfort is an important capital in doing various activities. With a serene feel he could be free to play which means easier to break away from attachment to parents.

2. TASTE BUILD CONFIDENCE

Confidence is closely related to the ability to be independent. If passed, independence is the loss of dependency of children from parents. Cultivate self-confidence of children by giving him the freedom and confidence to do everything, as long as it is not dangerous.

For example, let the children decide for themselves on this day will wear clothes which. Give him a chance to wear their own clothes and shoes, even comb my hair. Through opportunity and freedom that we give, his self-confidence will be nurtured. From day to day he became more confident to perform tasks earlier.

When this habit is nurtured properly, will the child can decide whether he really can and should do something or not. Do not forget, the first experience that felt good and gave satisfaction will definitely encourage children to do it again.

3. Appreciate CHILDREN

Do not be stingy to give a fitting award. Do not also connecting-connecting with the provision of material. Compliments, caress, saying the words of affection and anything like enough confidence children.

Recognition of achievements of children is also a foundation for building confidence. "Every individual, including children would want to get credit for anything he had done. Including if there are mistakes here and there."

In children who feel appreciated will form a positive self-concept. Well, that's self-concept which will support positive behaviors.

4. Discretion PLAY

Allow the children free play with his friends. Never tired of pushing for interested in playing with friends. "Have you seen it. I think really fun, yes, playing football with friends. Come, come play there." Increase the child's relationship with the outside world, whether with peers or with a different age will strengthen his self-confidence.

Throw away overprotective attitude which will only damage his confidence. This prohibition, it will only turn off the creativity of children who subsequently strengthen the sense of dependence on parents. Well, so children can be directed to do everything yourself, start from small things which then rises to great things.

When the initial child's confidence is relatively low, while he also gets less or even no stimulation at all, is not impossible that will be increasingly difficult to ask children perform with other people. No wonder, in doing whatever activity he was only willing to, together with parents only.

5. Introduces ENVIRONMENT OUTSIDE HOME

Open minded and give him an alternative activity that involves many people. Such as take her to the house of a neighbor or relative that enables it to play with peers.

Children who already have a sense of confidence will generally be more willing to get acquainted with the environment outside the home. Capital self-confidence, children are more capable are expected to suppress the fear and mindernya when in the wider environment. Opportunity to know the wider environment is what should be the parents.

6. AVOID INTERVENTION

When children have problems, parents should not directly help, let alone take over all the problems of children. Such parenting is only going to make it less a positive self-image and morale.

In children who have attachment problems, the attitude of parents who want to appear as a god likes to play the piece with a helper will only strengthen kelekatannya. Facing any problem, the child feels no need to try. You see, he knew exactly his parents will immediately intervene. This attitude is increasingly emphasized its dependence.

Perhaps, interventions carried out on the basis of parental affection. The goal, freeing the child from the problem. But in reality, this attitude did not benefit children. Conversely, if the parents really love, train it to help themselves. Start with simple things, like food.

No less important, do not easily give up. The effort, which is one of the stages of this study do need a long time as well as patience.

7. DO NOT corner, point

If the child is false or not able to finish the job, then the parents joined in may. It was limited to giving directions and not seize the opportunity. It's just a given direction must be submitted wisely. "Lo, really, hold the spoon upside down. Rice so spill, deh. Should you hold like this (he pointed) and enter into the mouth."

Explanation wise that is directive will be very helpful in correcting an error without creating dependence become stronger. Also avoid the attitude and the words that are cornered, let alone the suggestive blasphemous. Words like that will only make it feel inferior and afraid to try or do something yourself. Initiative retroactively to the minimum.

Kala got any job, he would always return to their parents without trying just because he was afraid of, ridiculed, and marginalized. More woe, the child will feel their parents are always right, while he is always wrong, which eventually sparked growing dependence.

8. TOO DO NOT PROSECUTE

Parents, children should not be too demanding to be able to do anything according to certain standards. For instance, requires children to engage themselves with the perfect outfit. When such demands are imposed to him, while his ability has not been growing well, it will only bring negative self-concept. In fact, in order to develop optimally, we need a conducive atmosphere which could bring up all the potential of children.

IMPORTANT NOTE

• Parents Become Model First we have to do is be a model for children, namely by doing their own homework. How can we ask children to do it but our own lazy? Of course the child will be difficult to be asked to do homework.
• Approach to Child When asking a child to do his job, he hook up with persuasive. Explain why children should perform these tasks, for example by explaining the benefits of what will be gained. Do this without any coercion intensively until the child is willing to do it yourself.
• Ability Based Do not ask children to do heavy and difficult task, but ask him to do small tasks so that he could do with ease. Note also the health factors, children with asthma should not be ordered to sweep because the dust can make asthma recurrence.
• Habit. After the children want to do it, we need her to. Namely by providing routine tasks, for example, any wake should make her own room. Our children are encouraged for the future well-established, have more value and convincing. Some of the elements that today there are around our children (in particular its impact felt in major cities) are:
• the development of rapid technological change and the sophisticated,
• hours of activity outside the house that long between father and mother,
• High demand to achieve the future well-established,
• violence is increasing and diverse,
• the distance of family members with each other.

All this caused tensions within parents. The function of the child as a pursuer of pure science, making it is equipped with many extra tutoring. As a result of such activity, the child be freed from the responsibilities and exercise the other socialization.

Great distances and gathered the increasingly limited opportunities between husband and wife, parent and child, while there is violence everywhere, causing high levels of anxiety in the hearts of parents.

We tend to give full protection to children - if not excessive. On the other hand, own children eventually get used to such protection. With the assistance "baby sitter" or at least the servants as a security umbrella from parents who both work. The children eventually have or create a lot of "excuse" in his life. Meanwhile, parents also tend to give a lot of tolerance towards child neglect in many facets of life (put a shoe out of place, do not help wash the dishes, lazy to clean their own rooms, etc..)

To answer basic questions about exactly what the role of parents / educators in building a child's independence, here are some things that can become our common reflection:
In conclusion of this paper let us together build an independent character of children through patience, perseverance, and faith in God. Let the wisdom of equipping each of measures taken by parents to their children, such as Proverbs 22:6 says, "Educate a young person by the way is worth to him, then at the tuanyapun he will not deviate from the road."